dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
