He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
accomplished twins. life is a go
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Your cock deserves a montage
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
