i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
