Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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