Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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