whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
