Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I looked at my own cervix.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm really busy with my period
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