your thong is hanging out like whoa
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
