Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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