i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
