Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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