He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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