then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Someone signed my nipple.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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