i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
where does the pee come out of this thing
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
