I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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