I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
