can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
