I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
