Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
