Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Come share oat with me in your robe
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
