oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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