There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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