i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think my nap took me to another dimension
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
