Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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