youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I CAN MOONWALK!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
