Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
