After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
