I love black thongs
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
