I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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