Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
