i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
