We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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