The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im holly from the hills drunk
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
