i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
