watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
