sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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