I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
All the doctor said was why
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
