ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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