My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
