just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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