Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
