Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
