The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
