If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
