I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
