were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
