3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
