found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
