That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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