whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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