She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
