I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My ass is underappreciated
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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