College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You were trust falling into bushes
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
