my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
